Teacher: Captain Nathan Algren
From The Last Samurai. Former teacher, Wellspring Arms employee, Fandom Island Avenger and zombie killer. Also the whitest samurai ever, an impressive shot with a pistol or a rifle, and cranky linguist with a hitch in his step thanks to some combination of all of the above. Looks suspiciously like a shaggy version of Tom Cruise. Coming back to the island after six years living in sin in the mountains of Japan with the widow of a man he killed with a pointy stick. Served under Custer. Yes, that Custer. Thinks Custer was an idiot, among other things. Is now teaching a class on the Civil War alongside a guy who he might or might not have actually shot at during said war, at some point. Is surprisingly okay with that and will probably think Goody is good people regardless.
Also still needs a place to live. He wasn't expecting to end up on the island again and reserves the right to be bitchy about that fact.
From Judith Thompson's play, Habitat, which is very Canadian and which only a handful of you probably actually know. Fandom High alumnus, scrappy gay Canadian former group home punk. The only other baseline human you're going to see in this list, besides Algren. Has been living with Atton Rand and kissing Leto Atreides, along with pretty much any other pretty guy who swings that way- though he'll have to stop kissing students, probably, what with how he's a teacher this semester. Yes, he has no idea why the hell the school is letting him do this, either, but it's going to be about living homeless, so at least he's teaching what he knows. He's been running the Demon Marcus - the clothing store in town - for a year and some change now, and this past year has seen him being kidnapped and stabbed, finding out his mentor eats people, and straight-up killing a homicidal AU version of himself. Somewhere in there, he bought a fish, which Alluka, one of his employees, has named Milady. Doesn't have the heart to tell her that Milady is a dude fish.
Oh, also he's still a wanted man in Ontario for all the breaking and entering and assault and arson he committed there last year. Oops.
Teacher: Kanan Jarrus
From all that shiny new Star Wars canon that Disney's been putting out lately, in particular the novel A New Dawn and the comic series Kanan: The Last Padawan. He still has several years and a lot of growing up to do before he hits Star Wars Rebels canon, so he's more like 'shitty Jedi annoying older brother' than 'Jedi Dad' at this point. He's co-teaching a class with Hannibal Lecter about getting to know Earth better, mostly because he really needs to get to know Earth better, what with being stuck here against his will and all. He's a drinker when he can get away with it, a lover even when he shouldn't (mostly with Electroclash), and grudgingly getting back into the habit of carrying his lightsaber around with him, even if it's in unrecognizable pieces on his belt. He also works Sunday shifts at Luke's under Eliot, who calls him 'Kid' more than 'Kanan,' and he has been off-and-on training again to be a Jedi under Obi-Wan Kenobi, who almost most of the time remembers not to call him 'Caleb.'
Townie: Jonothon Starsmore
[FREAKING AWESOME gif by this guy over here!]
From like twenty years of assorted Marvel comics with an X in the title, including but not limited to Generation X, X-Men, Weapon X, Wolverine and the X-Men, X-Men: Legacy, and New Warriors because shut up he wasn't technically a mutant for that one. Cranky mutant Brit with only half a face and no chest. On fire. Telepathic. Has a few versions of his own screwed-up mind bopping around in his head thanks to canon's inability to respect that maybe Jono just wants to be Jono for a while, and has recently married Doctor Hannibal Lecter. Yes, that guy. Look, it makes sense to them, even if the rest of the world would probably squint hard and smack him upside the head repeatedly for it if they knew even half of what was going on there. Particularly the goth-looking embodiments of intangible concepts that he's dated in the past, and Emma Frost, who he hasn't dated but who knows him well enough to feel comfortable smacking him anyway. He's a graduate of Fandom High as well, and has been teaching off and on for several years now. He's currently 'off,' but he'll have plenty of things to keep him busy, he hopes, between owning both the Boards and the Groovy Tunes, the theatre and the music shop in town respectively.
Let's be real, though. He'll be going stir-crazy and contemplating leaping back into spandex with an X on it before the semester is through.
From the Cartoon Network animated series, Steven Universe. She's a three-foot-fall space rock, and that's including hair. My only student at the moment and my only girl. Sort of. She's not technically a girl, she's a space rock from a society of space rocks that happens to use effeminate pronouns more or less right across the board. She's also really, really bad at human beings, but she's improved a lot since that time she shoved Gratuity Tucci off the roof of the dorms to see if humans can fly. She's working at Stark's for Tony, and at the Library for Constantine, and she'd take a dozen other jobs to keep herself busy and her mind engaged if she could get away with it, but let's be real, I have five characters on the island now and just because Peridot doesn't eat or sleep doesn't mean that I don't need to. Incidentally, she and Sparkle are the only two of my characters in game who aren't veterans of some war or another. I have a type.
She also didn't let a giant forced-fusion cluster of millions of fragmented shards of space rock consciousnesses form a corporeal monster body and destroy the Earth. Figures this probably makes her a hero. You're welcome.
Expat: Zack Fair
From the Final Fantasy VII Compilation, currently still ticking away through Crisis Core/Last Order canon. Proof that I'm a terrible person. He's my alumnus not actually living on the island, was going to be engaged to Yamanaka Ino, and instead wound up having the shit kicked out of him by a crazy silver-haired mama's boy and was subsequently kept in a giant tube and experimented on for several years by a psychotic mad scientist with a donkey laugh and a receding hairline. He's been on the run for a few months now, dragging his comatose friend and his giant freaking sword around with him. He's basically living proof that the universe's favourite game is 'Kick the Puppy.'
Hi, I'm Shannon from Eastern Canada, and I reside deep within the animation mines. Am owned by two dumb-as-rocks cats and four even-dumber-than-rocks quails. Just escaped the iron fist of Bugs Bunny and am once again being bossed around by Mickey Mouse, though I'm still doing side jobs for Bugs because animation is serious business. Most of what I've worked on recently can be found on internet lists with titles like 'Animated Atrocities,' and 'Top 10 Worst Shows of the 2010s,' which is how I know I've finally made it in life. I can be reached on AIM some of the time at raspberryturk, on Twitter most of the time at Shammens, and on GChat or by e-mail all of the time at shannon.perry3d @ gmail.com after proper removal of spaces and suchlike.