Shirtless and Broody
Jonothon Starsmore furnaceface
@ 2015-10-07 18:25:00
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Hannibal's House (That Jono Pretty Much Also Lives In), Wednesday Morning
After a talk about a week and a half ago, Jono was trying this new thing where he didn't hide his face in the safety and comfort of his own home. Well, Hannibal's home. But at this point, really, the only thing that made it not also his home was paperwork.

Some days, it worked out well enough.

Some days, he woke up and, like today, it was early enough in the day that he could see the reflection of his flames dancing back at him from the full-length mirror across the bedroom. Christ, he hated that mirror with a bloody passion. He hated all mirrors, really. That much hadn't changed a hell of a lot over the years.

That wasn't going to stop him from slipping out of bed today, to go and look at the wreck of his face, trying to nerve himself up to... something. Maybe going outside today. Maybe just staying in and hiding for another day.

From who?

Considering the way he turned away from his reflection, maybe from himself. It usually was, wasn't it?

[OOC: For that guy what owns the place!]
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never_dull

2015-10-07 09:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hannibal didn't sleep much, but Jono's insomnia put him to shame. He woke up and rolled over when the bed shifted, then just lay there watching for a moment.

It wasn't difficult for him to determine the mood Jono was in; at times like this, it was frustrating to know that medications wouldn't work on him. Apart from that assessment, though, Hannibal's reason for looking was entirely different.

The flames dancing in the dim room reflected off the mirror in the corner and the places where the drapes fell away from the windows. The light glinted in his hair and illuminated his pale skin.

Jono was beautiful.
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furnaceface

2015-10-07 09:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

It was sheer force of will that kept Jono from making a reach for his wrappings the moment he realized he was being watched. But force of will could only carry him so far this morning, and he found himself bunching up at the shoulder a little, ducking his head, turning away just slightly.

... Back toward that bloody mirror. For all the good that move had done him, then.

//I didn't wake you, did I?//
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never_dull

2015-10-07 09:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hannibal shrugged. "You know I'm a light sleeper. Shall I get up and make some coffee, or would you rather come back to bed?" He held out a hand in either offer or question.
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furnaceface

2015-10-07 09:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Coffee? How in the world could Jono nerve himself up to facing the day if he couldn't even handle facing himself in the mirror? He watched Hannibal's reflection for a moment instead, eyes darting to the offered hand and lingering there just a little longer.

//I don't know. I'm not really... feeling today yet. And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow...//

Wait, what? Jono blinked, and then turned to face Hannibal, making a reach for the offered hand and trying again.

//You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now.//

... Damn it, Fandom.

At least he wasn't yelling at himself in the mirror this time, though.

Edited at 2015-10-07 09:44 pm (UTC)
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never_dull

2015-10-07 09:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh, dear. It was one of those days, was it? Hannibal gave Jono a look of rueful commiseration even as he savored the thought behind it.

"Someone falls to pieces sleeping all alone, someone kills the pain spinning in the silence to finally drift away..."

Dear lord, couldn't it have skipped him this year? He tugged on Jono's hand to bring him closer and managed despite Fandom to murmur, "That would be a terrible shame."
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furnaceface

2015-10-07 09:58 pm (UTC) (Link)

Oh, no fair. Why did Hannibal get Audioslave and Jono was stuck with Goo Goo Dolls?

... Because Hannibal wasn't the one angsting over his own stupid face in the mirror, that was why. Jono let him tug him closer, at least, and nodded his head faintly, squeezing his hand.

//And all I can taste is this moment,// he shared, //and all I can breathe is your life...//

Really, Fandom? Bit literal with him, wasn't it? Jono was going to maybe just sit on the edge of the bed and pretend this wasn't happening. How did that sound, hm?
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never_dull

2015-10-07 10:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hannibal wouldn't know Audioslave if it bit him on the ass. (Though he'd applaud its temerity if it tried.) Jono should probably rectify that.

But he was alive, and really ought to do more living. "Someone lays a dozen white roses on a grave."
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furnaceface

2015-10-07 10:16 pm (UTC) (Link)

Jono would add it to the very long list of things he still needed to shove at Hannibal, then.

//Sooner or later it's over,// he noted. That was kind of the way of it, wasn't it? Of everything worthwhile. He shrugged, and then let go of Hannibal's hand. //I just don't want to miss you tonight.//

Ah. That was the direction his brain was going today, then, wasn't it? Everything that this face of his had cost him? Everything it could cost him still?

He was hiding again. Looking back toward that damn mirror. Sorry, Hannibal. Enjoy that view of the back of his shoulder, there.
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never_dull

2015-10-07 10:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

It was a lovely shoulder, yes, but it was hardly one of Jono's best attributes. "To be yourself is all that you can do." Hannibal put a firm hand on that shoulder, both in comfort and to turn him back and prevent him hiding.
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furnaceface

2015-10-07 10:18 pm (UTC) (Link)

It was a nice thought, anyway. Jono turned just a little, glancing back over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed as he watched Hannibal through the flame.

//I don't want the world to see me,// he argued. //'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.//

They never did. What good would being himself do him?
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never_dull

2015-10-07 10:20 pm (UTC) (Link)

"To be yourself is all that you can do." The song insisted it, and so did Hannibal. There was no point in anything but being yourself. Who cared if anyone else understood?
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furnaceface

2015-10-07 10:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

Who cared?

Jonothon did.

//When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am,// he replied, bunching up again in the shoulder, staring down at the floor.

He didn't even know who he was himself, half the time. How could he be that person? Everything was so bloody complicated, and Hannibal seemed to have a better handle on who Jono was meant to be than Jono himself did, sometimes.

It was frustrating.

It was terrifying.
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never_dull

2015-10-07 10:23 pm (UTC) (Link)

"Someone who finds salvation in everyone." Everyone except himself, where he needed to.
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furnaceface

2015-10-07 10:24 pm (UTC) (Link)

And so help him, Jono was certain he'd be choking up right now, if he could. Damn you, Hannibal, for knowing him that well.

//And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.// He was fine, blast it. //Or the moment of truth in your lies. When everything feels like the movies...//

A dream? Some sort of bloody script that had been charted out for him? Or maybe one of those nightmares where you kept running in place, getting nowhere, while the world closed in and drowned you out...

He was balling himself up again, not quite able to keep eye contact.
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never_dull

2015-10-07 10:25 pm (UTC) (Link)

There was more truth than most would admit in Hannibal's few lies. "You find only pain."
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